i guess i'm really at my limits already....never have i do a project that makes me so stress that i feel like crying eveytime...the bottle up feeling is just so much like putting gassy drink in fridge...
i just blasted out on the writer today....ytd shoot he din't really do his job, he was like eating, chit chating and drinking ard and totally not looking at the show...he's suppose to brief the host and artist about the game, well the briefing the host become my ep job and briefing artist become my...he brief the contestant but i have no idea what he said to them....but seems that some of them didn't understand what he said....then if i hadn't notice that we din change the product in one of the game, we would had go ahead with the show and it's gone....
and today he call to say he wants to come ke-bo on the contestant in the future eps....i'm so coop up with my things that i mistake one of the contestant as someone he mention....then he go call that someone and realise he's not in and called me back to complain....complain on why i tell him that the person is in when he's not and why i didn't arrange him to be in and why he kept saying that person is good but i didn't place him in and etc....i'm like so piss off with him blaming everything on me and i just flare up.....like f***ing hell...so what if that person is so good and can come, i didn't see his audition at all....if i saw he's audition paper and if it's stated as OK i would have put him in the pile, if i hadn't means he's in the KIV or OUT pile, most pro the reason why i haven't notice him....and that writer totally didn't tell me that lawrence say he can be in....so i didn't bother looking....now ít's my fault for giving you false hope in saying that he's one of the contestant, but i see wrongly....not that i didn't give chance....is he is not in!!! i seriously have no idea why the hell he is so persistant....i mean yes that person can be very interested in coming for the game, but if he's not choosen the so be it....
if there are contestant who can't speak chinese well it's my fault cos i put them in....f*** lah....lawrence is the one who wrote OK in the paper....i show him all the OK and the KIV people....he was the one who choose them not me....so stop blaming every single thing on me....making like everything is my fault....
why i'm so cranky when talking to writer and EP...cos i'm super piss off with u all!!!! having a ep that throw everything to me and having an idoit writer that nags on everything and still say he try not to be too naggy...
anyway i really broke down today...tried not to cry in front of ning and all but on the way home i cried under my block...the tears just flow down and i just need to let it out....it's so unbearable...arhhh....
drinking beer now....can't believe i'm down to this stage.....God seriouslly how long more u want me to wait??? i'm at my limits already....
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