i know it's v.early in the morning...and hi ppl, sorry i haven't update for months...was v.busy in sept...and thou' i had breaks in oct but gotten lazy to blog...heh anyway yupz i shall blog now even it's pretty late/early...cos if i don't do it now i think i never will...ya i'll just push it and push it and then it's mths later hahaz...ok so here goes...

well 21st birthday is a turn in one's life...for some, not all...for me i'm not so sure where it's turning but i believe God does...and I'm leaving it in his hands...well recently, maybe cos my 21st birthday coming, i kept thinking of my mum...reminded by the fact that she's not around anymore...and that i can't taste her cooking...if not i guess she'll be cooking for my birthday...well last tuan qi reminded me of her too...we were making 'tang yuan' and my mum use to make those, expect she din put filling into the 'tang yuan'...and i regreted so much in not learning her cooking skills...my mum have the most excellence cooking skills amoung her sisters...and i didn't learn any of it when i had the chance...i kept thinking i always have tomorrow...only then i realise she didn't...the only think i pick up from her was a small bit of baking skills...but nevertheless i'm glad i'm the one that inherit the most of my mum's genes...the skills in making crafts, the skills of cooking, baking, the more arts side of me are all from my mum...and i really miss her a lot...sob, snif....ya i'm tearing as i write this, not crying, just tearing...

well it's not only missing her that make me think a lot recently...but also the part about me saying that i may have tomorrow, and others may not...or maybe i don't have a tomorrow...i guess as time past by you'll tend to forget that tomorrow may not come...you'll take everyday that you live for granted...and i guess recently that's what i've been doing...i didn't really reflect it to my cell grpie but it's something i've been struggling about...how to make Jesus the main theme in my life? How to let Jesus be my focus in my daily life? yes reading God's words...the problem is i'm not really consistant in my reading even thou' i want to be...i think i'm not trying hard enough...i'm not....reflections should be done...and ya serious reflection....

ok after all the thinking and emotions...now i come the the final, birthday celebrations...well my colleague celebrated my birthday on 5 nov...they wanted to surprise me, with the idea of me getting scold by my boss or i watch my colleauge getting scold by my boss...but then it didn't really pull it off as the scolding part didn't come out...and some of my colleague(tall ones) were making funny faces when they few others were trying to act...the rest were trying not to laugh...anyway i kinda expected it coming so heh...still i'm thankful to them all...the surprise, the cake, the presents...it's wonderful...they are wonderful colleague who are very serious when it comes to work...but anything out of work they are fun and outgoing...the outgoing part i'm still learning...everyone (esp those who met me the first time, over dinner or stuff) always says i'm too quiet...i guess i'm just not the kind that are good in finding topics to talk about...and so thursday ends well...got off at 6pm to get chae yun's gift...got myself stuff too...and i really cannot go to bugis with $$...i can't stop myself from getting any stuff....

Now to the main birthday party...it didn't start off as well as i expected....food and everything came on time...but the amount of thing that i need to carry down was more than i expected...and took sometime to settle the stuff...dad start the fire first well my uncle help to blow the balloons...chae yun, eric and xi wen were late to help with the deco...yue ting came ard 6plus which came to my rescue...finally chae yun they all came and the decorations were up before most of my guest arrived....and then came the problem one by one...firstly my aunt informed me that there is something wrong with the fried rice, cos when they take it up it looks like those 'na dou'....doesn't look edible...so i call up the bbq house and they say they realise that due to unwell contain/packing the fried rice is not edible...so they say they will refund...then came my dad bitching about how they sure try and change the fried rice instead of refunding the $$...and well i would agree if i had done catering...but then my main theme was bbq so i kinda let it go on the cook food...then i was arguing with my dad about how there are other cases too and i guess they couldn't make replacement cos of the ppl and places...there isn't an ending to that arugment so it just died off...at the same time the lights around the bbq pit didn't come on...it was 7 plus already so i have to call the bbq-in-charge to check the problem...then she say she would call the town council...so it too another 20 over min...finally she called to say the person is on the way to check...7.30pm...and they are all bbqing with one torch light...sighz...many came to ask about the lights and i'm kinda piss to reply them(at the point of time)...the many others came....more and more people but not enough bbq stuff to go around...i guess the one major thing i estimate wrongly was the cooking time....
should had ask my dad to set up another bbq pit thou' it was quite a distance away...but we could live with that...sighz...sadly i din't think of that...the other thing that i got quite parpnoid was my aunts...well i guess cos i expected them to act more like host and not like guest...i tot they would at least help me serve some food to my friends first before they go to their share, but then they didn't...they took the food to themselves...i guess the self-service thingy really came thru to them (and maybe i expected too much)...but nevertheless they help to clear up and stuff....and no matter how they are they are still my aunts...and then during that whole period i didn't have much food, i only took 1 piece of hotdog, 1 otah, 1 slice of sotong, 1 slice of beef...yupz that's it...i didn't even touch the satays and chicken wings...and that is the mystery of the night....because the food is on going cooking but we never see the cook food for long....the minute it's there the next it's not...yupz so lesson learn, if you are doing bbq never do it for over 25pax...if you are at least have 2 pits...if you are having a party with relatives either cater your food or if you really want to have bbq and only have 1 pit plan it for 2 days...separate them...makes it easier for all...you can talk to your relatives and friends...your friends wouldn't find it weird cos your friends are around, and well i guess my relatives are not the 'oh you guys goes first' kinda ppl...so ya..
anyway too much food was left over...due to the slow cooking and over ordered food ( thou i think it's more of the slow cooking...and ppl ate too little which i'm sure of it cos wei ren they all din bother to come over to the bbq pit and get food..) like i say, the food disappear in secs and i don't have the time to serve them...so yupz...i think a lot of them went back hungry....i'm so sorry....

of cos my party is not just all the unhappiness...that will be too sad for a 21st birthday party...the happy things are that i'm surrounded by loving family members, friends, brothers and sisters....thou there are always times when you love and dislike them at the same time...but aren't family members the ones that accept you for who you are and i that's we all are doing to each other...of cos and my family in christ who accepts me and change me for the better good...not to forget my dearest bros and sis and sistas(who din manage to come), they are always there for me when i need them...thou many things did not go as plan, but it all ended well...and blessings that comes from God is the greatest thing i've recieve today...the fact that it didn't rain thou it looks like it will...it's been raining the past 4 days and God bless me with good weather...he blessed me with the many friends and family members that would make their way specially for me no matter how far it is...he blessed me with wonderful colleague...and i know there are a lot more blessings that he had given me, and many more that are yet to come....thus my greatest joy is to know this God...and the family in christ that he had given me...they are a wonderful bunch...

oh of cos not to forgot the present opening session...well of cos not when everyone was around...i open it just now at the living room...many wonderful presents and many that too me by surprise....esp my bro...i'm touch by the gift he gave me...not only he sponsor haf of my cake, he got me a present that i wanted...thou' i wonder how he walk out of the shop with that...even the walking in part i can't imagine...pictures of my presents will be shown on facebook...don't worry i''ll load them...there's just one thing i forgot to do...take pictures with chae yun and eric...never mind we have many more nov 6 to go...heh...

Thanks for all the wishes from my overseas churchmates.....and many sorrys to my uncles, aunties and cousins (dad's side esp) whom i din't talk to...nevertheless thanks for all the presents and wishes.....

till next time ja~

i guess the death of a friend really had a great impact on mi and my frenz...since the death of my mum i realise how short life could be and that i should treasure the ppl ard me more for i wouldn't know when they will leave me...well guess it din hit me as hard as seeing a friend of my age passed away just like that...

at least my mum grew up, had children...thou' she din get to enjoy life but she had kids, and that left a part of her in the world...but the friend that died, all that is remain of him is memories...and it really hit us hard that life is so short and so unexpected that you have no idea how old you will live...you may think that eventually you will grow old and die with kids and grandchildren by your side, but it may not happen...

i'm leaving down this passage to tell all my friends, family members, bro, sis, aunts and uncle in Christ, relatives that i love all of you guys a lot a lot...i grew up in a traditional chi family that don't say out how much we love each other...so i want them to know that i love them a lot...i'm glad that i was born in that family...and all my friends, bros and sis you all make my life different...the happy and sad memories we shared together build up the spices in my life...and that if i were died unexpectedly, know that i live my life to the fullest everyday...even thou' i could not fulfill my dreams, but i did tried in my living days and there is no regret...so you all should live on strongly, live your life together with my share...

well its just a message to all that i will leave behind when i died (at a young age)...b'cos if anything unexpected happens to me (accident, illness etc), i want all to know that i did not have any regrets, and that i know i did leave down my last words to all the ppl i love...

i was rather prepare for the busy week except the timing was a bit more than i expected....

here are the details:

Mon filming: reach office at 8am, set off 9am...bk at 7plus, hope to finish logging and transfering the tape by 10pm, latest 11pm...but then machine got occupied...when i got the machine it was abt 9pm...so i left office at 1am+...

tue filming: reach office at 8.30am, set off 9.30am...bk in office 6pm...overnightin...

wed: leaving office at ___am...cos i also don't know what time...mgt finish logging tape b4 goin bk...estimate latest 7am...

thur: off but got INTERVIEW!!!! oh God....

fri filming: have to reach office at 8am, set off 9am....prepare for overnighting (confirm)....

sat: prepare for overnight too (nt confirm but got 80% chance)....

if you notice i did not mention 'again' on my overnighting...cos there will be more to come...no point puttin it...anyway use to it liao....also it gives me time to do sth else the nxt day lah so not really that bad...just a bit boring....ok got to get back to work...

you'll see a v.dead me on sunday....thx God only one filming day nxt week... >.<